Tuesday, February 17, 2015


I meant to do a few more updates on makeup I tried from the drugstore but ended up returning it all before taking photos or doing a post. It was all, for lack of better words, shit, so it discouraged me. Sort of ridiculous, but tiny little insignificant things like that discourage me and make me lose any sort of motivation for days. Forget about "i'll do it tomorrow", it's more like "ugh give me a week."

I feel like a lot of people I know online feel the same way (well, some of my friends offline as well).

Literally 98% of any sort of emotion i'm having that day will be connected to my weight, which is why it's often all I talk about if asked, but I generally try to not bring it up into conversation when someones asks the socially required question - how are you? To which of course, is always the same answer - fine. Because who really wants to go on about how they're feeling to someone who actually has to ask.

So, well, as you can guess i've just been feeling shitty lately. Shitty as in fat, so I feel shitty. It's so ridiculously obnoxious (I am, not like, anything tangible, just my entire being) to do anything. I still find little things to do, but I hate the idea of going outside - not to avoid people or anything, but because the idea of being looked at is so infuriating. Especially looking how I do now. (I think I mentioned this before). Gross, such fat. Such rolls. Wow.

I'm just spewing words here now, but the other day I was looking at tumblr and seeing all these body positive photos or whatever, manips, and like things that said EAT!! No matter what you do, EAT!!! Eat whatever you want!! Being happy is what's most important!!! If it wasn't already known, I hate like 90% of tumblr and the bullshit everyone splurts everywhere. Not to say that anyone is wrong or anything, or they aren't entitled to an opinion, but the majority of what I see is such contradictory bullshit, and people just wanting to be coddled for being lazy and not wanting to do things, or wanting to actually work for something. There's a difference between someone who has depression for example, and finds it difficult to find the motivation to do something, and someone just being a little bitch and wanting to binge watch 80 episodes on Netflix or hand out with friends instead of doing a paper they inevitably end up getting a bad grade on because they spent literally no time on it.

What gets me most are the ones aimed towards people with issues against food. Maybe because I have issues with food myself, but it always bothers me when people say EAT WHATEVER YOU WANT!!! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!!! ACCEPT EVERYONE!! ACCEPT ALL SIZES!!! But then the second someone says they want to go on a diet, they're bombarded with 'no!! you should love yourself!!! youre perfect!!!" Look, there's nothing wrong with being happy with your body or weight. If you're healthy -now- that's great, but don't want you to stay that way? It's not just about NOW. Also, have you ever thought that maybe you're not feeling well BECAUSE of what you're eating? I can't even eat overly fried food/greasy food/typical american 'fast food' anymore without wanting to hurl because of how heavy it makes me feel. .... But of course you have to accept how you are now because the idea of changing yourself or your lifestyle for the better is totally unheard of and no one should do it because you can't be better than everyone else!!! No!! Everyone has to be mediocre and never fully grow into who they really are!!!

Oozes sarcasm

I'm so bad at writing, even if it's just my thoughts. I was relatively good at writing ( I think) at one point, but since schooling, there's been a ridiculous decline in my intellect :x

I wish I could gather my thoughts properly again. I used to write lyrics and songs, along with short stories (cough fanfiction cough), but now to even write a proper sentence I have to really think.... and the thought never comes to a resolution. Did you notice those random breaks aka paragraphs? Yeah, I don't even know.

This is all over the place, but whatever. How is everyone doing? I bought NYX makeup products off the website - if you guys have things from them that you use regularly and haven't purchased off the website yet, you can get 20% off once you sign up to the newsletter if you didn't know There's free shipping over a certain amount purchased, and items can be refunded even if used. (Which I have to do because this bronzer made me look like I was about to go on stage or a drag queen)

Also starting juicing 'fast' / clean eating until this weekend again. Wish me luck.


room12 「無論、死ぬまで」 (muron, shinumade)

Monday, February 2, 2015

Review: Wet and Wild, Kat Von D

I wanted to try everything immediately so I got swatches, and let's just say... if you're an avid fan of any of these items, you may not like this review.

On a plus side, though. If you have a Rite-aid near you, all Wet n Wild items are 40% off! L'oreal and a bunch of others as well are Buy One Get One Half Off! You can use coupons too, and even find some printable ones online. All Rite Aid makeup can be returned even if it's been opened, being my main reason to go there rather than say, Target.

L'oreal Paris - Magic Perfecting Base - 13.29$ USD

A creamy consistency. Seems okay on it's own. (It's on about half of my hand there)

It's here that I wanted to try the Foundation - L'oreal Paris - True Match LUMI Healthy Luminous Makeup (12.99$ USD) in W1-2 Porcelain/Light Ivory (as shown below) but as I put the top back on, it came apart - the entire bottle just, fell over while the top had 'broken' off. The entire top half of the foundation had been cracked and lifted off! On top of that, this foundation doesn't seem that good.

See the blotchy-ness? It could be the base, but after the incident, I don't care to try it without the primer.


A close up, but the lines seem really defined in just my hand.
I imagine it's even worse on my face...

Wet n Wild - Coverall Liquid Concealer Wand in 811 Fair - 2.99$ USD + 40% off

(L to R) Concealer, Concealer patted in, With (Chanel) Powder.

I think the only thing that saved this one was the Chanel powder. However, it's still very grainy. 
Nevermind that the colours don't actually work with me - my skin is lighter than my hand.

For reference I used my 'normal' routine on my hand.
Pictured is Murad Primer (I don't think they sell it anymore..)
Chanel Perfection Lumiere, Chanel Poudre Universelle Compacte and Maybelline FIT me! Concealer.
The colour of concealer isn't 100% and the Chanel one works better in that department, but overall (if you can tell), it has a much silkier finish and doesn't look as 'grainy', or look as, for lack of better words, 'dirty' than L'oreal one imo.

(L to R) Wet n Wild - Mega Eyes Defining Marker 3.99$ USD, Mega Liner Liquid Liner 2.99$ USD,
Coloricon .99$ USD + 40% off (all in black)

Don't buy the marker. I did this on my hand and look at it (furthest to the left). Yeah, barely any pay off. I thought it would be like an actual marker, not an old pen-cap-left-off-the-marker-oh-shit-better-dab-it-on-my-tongue-and-hope-it-gets-wet-enough-to-work type of marker. I had to rub it quite a bit on my hand just to get that colour; imagine the pain for your eyeball covers.

To the right of that is the liquid liner. It looks nice so far, but I haven't tried it on a full face of makeup yet to see how long it lasts, but as far as this go, it looks pretty nice. Before drying it may get everywhere, but it seemed to dry pretty fast.

The one on the far right is the regular pencil. Even just drawing it on my hand looked a bit faded, but if you can see on the next picture, it rubs away so easily. Not in a good, easy to smudge away, either. Just look at it! It's barely left any colour! Not impressed by either pencil or marker. The liner seems the best out of all the items so far, and i'm excited to test it out properly.

Wet n Wild - (L to R) 392 A Tunnel Vision, 395 A The Naked Truth 3.99$USD each + 40% off

Wet n Wild - (L to R) 336 Spoiled Brat 2.99$ USD, 738 Comfort Zone 4.99$ USD + 40% off

I tried to keep the order of eyeshadow and the swatches close together to make it easier.
I must say, I am impressed. I did notice though, if you can see in "The Naked Truth" Palette, that it sort of crumbled already. I barely pressed down and it took up so much colour on the little sponge.
The colours aren't anything too new or special, but I tend to rebuy a lot of the same things - really neutral colours.
I'm a little disappointed in the pink colour of "Spoiled Brat" since I was looking for a really good, deep, pink colour. I swiped it 3-4 times over my hand and it was still pretty light, especially compared to all the other colours.
The "Define" for "Comfort Zone" (The one on the left hand size there that looks green-ish) really surprised me too, it ended up swatching a beautiful copper brownish colour with a hint of green sheen.

I've heard the most about the Wet n Wild eyeshadow palettes, and I'm not surprised. Especially for the price, these colours seem to be quite good. My comparison (since I legit have used the same things for years and rarely go outside my comfort zone haha) would be and and all of the Bourjois Eyeshadows - my favourite are the Smoky Eyes Trio.
For the price, however, these neutral or darker shades can be a good substitute. They sell singles too from what I saw, though seemed to be limited in available colours.

Wet n Wild - Ultimate Brow Kit 3.99$ USD + 40% off

I don't have too much to say about this since I haven't actually used it on my brows yet, but so far, I don't imagine the "brow wax" (white thing up there) will 'hold' my eyebrows as it describes, since I have very coarse hair. I don't like tiny tweezers either, personally. I feel like the colours are a little too grey for my personal skin tone and preference as well, so i'm not sure how well this will work, but we'll see! It could look much better than my usual one. If it works colour wise, I've heard some good things about this as well.

For a comparison, I regularly use a Japanese drugstore brand eyebrow kit by Cezanne. It's sort of like the equivalent of Wet n Wild and is about 500¥ (under 5$USD).

Kat Von D - True Romance Eyeshadow Palette 9.99$ USD, Everlasting Lover Liquid Lipstick 6.99$ USD
Wet n Wild - Megaslicks Balm Stain (below) 2.99$ USD

Megaclicks balm stain - limited colour payoff. I bought a very beige colour, so that could be the problem, but I was hoping for a good nude-ish colour and this is literally nothing. 'Colourless' chapstick that looks white will give you more colour to be completely honest. (fyi thats patch of colour is after rubbing it over a few times)

Kat Von D Lipstick is amazing. This colour stain is so rich and sticks so well. I tried a little on my lips and it was just as great. I'm not sure how long it'll stay since i've just swatched it, but I'm impressed enough. I don't really wear lipstick or anything when I go out unless it's a nude colour, but when I want to take a photo, you bet I want a bold colour to pop and look amazing.

So, the eyeshadow palette and lipstick I got at Marshall's (discount store, if you don't know it). The items are probably a bit old, but i'm hoping not more than a year or so. I read online that they were selling the palette for half off at Sephora in September because they were re-vamping, or just trying to focus more on the lipsticks? I have no idea, but I got this for 10$ USD, and the lipstick for $7. Not bad at all. I think part of the reason, or as a result, the one cream eyeshadow (second from the top in the palette, up there, I wasn't able to get a swatch) had dried up. You can see the condensation on the mirror a little bit.

I'm not sure if it has any effect on the other shadows, but the colours are gorgeous imo. All colours I would like to use! I actually think maybe the dry shadows became a bit more dry because there seemed to be some clumping and fall out, but easily blown away. To be honest, I love the way the colours look too much to be too upset, and for the price it's definitely not bad. (Also plan on trying to fix that cream eyeshadow with some alcohol).

Overall? I feel like i've upset the Chanel gods and started a basket to re-buy all the Chanel items I have and have run out of and it quickly exceeded 450$USD.... eh....heh... (but won't/can't re-purchase just yet...)

In the meanwhile, i'm returning most of the items sans the wet n wild eyeshadow palettes, liquid eyeliner, mascara (depending on how it is when I try it!), and Kat Von D items. Incredibly disappointed in the L'oreal products, but I guess I just have to try some more. Any recommendations!?